Login
The 9 Most Important Minutes of Your Child’s Day
Your child's emotional well-being can be profoundly influenced by how you engage with them during pivotal moments of their day, according to Jaak Panksepp, Ph.D., an affective neuroscientist.
By Kenneth Hemmler
Did you know that your child’s emotional well-being can be profoundly influenced by how you engage with them during pivotal moments of their day?
Affective Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, Ph.D., highlights the significant impact of positive emotional systems, stating:
“Positive emotional systems … capture cognitive spaces, leading to their broadening, cultivation, and development.”
Essentially, the more these positive emotions are nurtured, the more likely your child is to grow into a productive and happy individual.
So, how can you foster a healthy emotional system for your child?
The 9 most important minutes of your child’s day
These crucial moments can be broken down into three key periods:
- The first three minutes after they wake up.
- The three minutes after they come home from school.
- The last three minutes before they go to bed.
The first 3 minutes after they wake up
Instead of hurriedly pulling off the covers and rushing to start the day, consider spending a few moments waking up together.
This could mean sitting on the bed with them, talking softly, or even beginning breakfast together. This gentle start can set a positive tone for the rest of the day.
The 3 minutes after they come home from school
When your child returns from school, resist the urge to immediately direct them toward the television or homework.
Instead, try walking to get the mail together, sharing a snack, or simply sitting down to chat about their day. This time is crucial for them to decompress and feel supported.
The last 3 minutes before they go to bed
As the day winds down, spend a few minutes with your child before they fall asleep. This could involve reading a book together, talking about the highlights of their day, praying or simply cuddling.
This bedtime routine helps them feel secure and loved, promoting better sleep and emotional health.
Optimizing these key moments
For younger, prelingual children, these moments can include looking at books, singing, talking softly, or cuddling.
For older children, asking open-ended questions and encouraging them to use “feeling” words to describe their experiences can be incredibly beneficial.
This practice not only helps them process their emotions but also builds their emotional vocabulary.
Making the most of little moments
Remember, great parenting often comes down to making the most of the small moments.
By intentionally spending these key minutes with your child, you create a nurturing environment that supports their emotional and cognitive development.
These seemingly small interactions can have a lasting impact on your child’s overall well-being and happiness.
Originally published on Kenneth Hemmler’s Greater Good Health & Healing Substack page.
